Pride Month= Rainbow Yoga Joes

June is Pride Month

So enter Rainbow Yoga Joes.

I found out about these when they were on a Kickstarter years ago. I thought they were the most brilliant thing possible. I had a little boy and I was a yoga teacher. What would be better for him to play with than Yoga Joes?

I got my first set with the Kickstarter and was in love. When I found out they had a rainbow set, I just knew it would be a great way to show support for Pride month.

What I love about this toy
1. These Rainbow Joes embody the peace and strength of yoga.
2. They are made of high-quality plastic, better than a lot of GI Joes I have been given.
3. They don't fall over! Again another problem with the GI Joes. Even with their bases they still fall over. The creator, Dan Abramson decided to put yoga mat's as stabilizers for all of the yoga poses that needed them. Brilliant!
4. These colors are beautiful, and there are other colors offered such as green, pink, and purple.
5. They created a second series so there are more poses to play with.

What I don't love
1. They are really expensive
2. While my kids can use them, I don't let them... because they were so expensive I don't want them to step on one and break the mat off of it. Maybe your kids are more gentle with your toys than mine.
3. As an Iyengar teacher, I am picky with how poses are shown, some of these are shown beautifully and others I want to correct... but I can not. The cobra is beautiful! I do keep trying to stop myself from correcting Warrior 1... it is a Yoga Joe, not regular Joe.

I asked my kids what they liked about these and they liked that these are multicolored and they do yoga.

There are not many toys in the market for kids that like yoga and fewer for boys. This is an amazing product that allows boys to feel included in the practice.

So down to brass tacks. Would I recommend Rainbow Yoga Joes to my yogi friends? Or put them in my studio (that is still a goal one day).

- YES. I will even let my children play with them, with the knowledge that this is a special toy and it gets put back up when they are done.

I love the concept of Rainbow Joes for Pride Month, and I hope everyone had an excellent month able to show your love for the people in your life.

Crab and Whale Book Review

I had so much fun reading this book. I brought my children in on it, which I’ll let you see what children say about these books and games.

In this simple story, we see the traditional plot of the damsel in distress turned on its head. What happens when your hero is a crab? Can they help in any other way? What if all you need to do is be patient and then you will be free? For whale and for me that is where I find myself most of the time.

Crab is the knight who can’t ‘save the day’. Which he acknowledges and turns to help in a different way. Crab knows how to stay calm, and being trapped is very scary, so Crab changes all of his plans to help Whale go through this ordeal.

Crab offers advice and talks soothingly to Whale. When the tide starts to come in and Whale starts to get excited it is Crab who makes sure that Whale does not get in more trouble, but gets free.

“You know what makes me feel better?” said ‘Crab

“Blowing out a deep breath” 

This is a great book for little kids. A great way to show children that you don’t have to be the biggest or best to solve the problem. You don’t even need all the answers. Sometimes answers come by themselves and we just have to wait for them, with a friend nearby teaching us how to breathe.

My children had different parts that they liked.
Oldest
- I liked the picture of the Whale
- I liked the way Crab helping Whale
- I saw that they were doing yoga.  (We do breathing in yoga)

My middle  child
- I liked the 1st picture because it is a beautiful sunny day and Crab is happy
- I liked Whale blowing Crab up and he felt ticklish
- I liked the stars because it is good to look at stars and you get stronger when you go to sleep.

5 ways to do Yoga with Kids

It is summer, we are all inside- thanks to COVID- and how long can our children dig that hole in the backyard?

Digging a hole in the backyard is not a horrible thing unless you are like my brother in law and decided to fill that hole with some type of explosive and then convince your mom to set it off. That was a house of all very smart, engineering thinking boys- but they all survived to get married and have their own very smart children.

Now how can we interact?

 Hopefully with fewer explosives.

1. We can read.
As I said I will be posting a new book review every 2 weeks that covers the topics of mindfulness and yoga. I am looking for new authors that just came into the market. Hopefully, these reviews will entice you to expand your little library that you are growing.

2. We can learn a new pose.
I am working with a fantastic Illustrator, who is creating pictures of yoga poses for me. Then once every 2 weeks I will release a new pose and yoga picture that comes from the Iyengar style and is in a child's language.

3. Play with your kids.
Just last week I posted the instructions for a yoga game, "Going on a Journey". There are other amazing yoga teachers who have created goal-oriented games with fantastic illustrations for children to play. I will be explaining other games that I know, and I will review games that are already in the market, as my children love them.

4. Create your own yoga sequence
Children love to create. I love listening to children when they make up stories. My daughter likes to make up a story and then read it back to me. Once a month I will write a "fill in" story/ sequence. Your children get to choose what yoga pose goes where to tell what goes on in the story. Then you read your story and do your yoga sequence.

I promise they will love when the "frog runs to the "eagle" and they break into the castle to save the "warrior prince".

5. Create a new pose
Creating stories is not the only thing that children are good at. Let them create their own pose and name it. I would love to see what ideas they come up with. My Emma does this often and is so proud of how she can make her bodywork and move. You can do a few traditional poses and then take turns making new poses, or a whole sequence of silly made-up poses with silly names to make it even more silly for the kids.



The goal is to put you in a spot where you feel in control around your kids.

Now please understand. This does not mean give them a remote and a video game. We are all there. They have been playing Minecraft since they woke up from naps. I am writing to all the mom's who think they can't do it. As my therapist told me today, "You are stronger than you think, make one goal- to play with your kids- and that is all you have to do."

So try it, and your kids will think you are the most 'amazing stupendous mother in the whole world' or teacher..... I heard that on Father's Day.

Going on a Journey

Summer road trips. We have to have them. Go to the beach, the mountains, cousins, grandma's or to that one very special ice cream place that you just have to go to each year.

Luckily, most of our cars have entertainment systems, or kids have video games, tablets, or books to entertain themselves. But what happens when those devices die? Or a child gets car sick (always have throw up bags in your car). In my old car we had an entertainment system so the kids could watch movies. My current car, we have nothing like that. 

So how do we get by in 2020?

We make it work. 

I bring books, ipad, video games and put them in the front of the car and hold out as long as i possibly can before giving them to the kids. 

Then we play as many car games that we can think of. 

- 20 questions

- I spy

- ABC

- State license plate

- I'm going on a journey

When we last played I'm going on a journey we made it through I think 3 rounds before I lost. If you haven't played it is a simple repetitive game that requires short term memory skills.

Don't worry you guys, I wrote you an example using yoga poses!

Come on children it's time to go

On a journey for us to grow

All circled up we’re together

Ready to act and mimic each other. 

One by one we will go around 

Taking turns till we have found

we finished them all, or our memory’s gone

Then we lay down and no longer go on. 

...

[ Vera]I’m going on a journey and I will take

My favorite triangle that I make

[Joe] I’m going on a journey and I will bring

A triangle, and a warrior to warn the king. 

[ Sam]I’m going on a journey and I will have to bear

A triangle, warrior 1, and a half moon in the air

[ teacher] I’m going on a journey and I will lend

A triangle, warrior 1, a half moon, and my best dog friend.

[ Vera]  I’m going on a journey and I’m going to provide

A triangle, warrior 1, half moon, downward dog, and a plank to ride. 

[ Joe] I’m going on a journey and I’m going to insist

A triangle, warrior 1, half moon, downward dog, plank and camel are not missed

[ Sam] I’m going on a journey and I can’t let

A triangle, warrior 1, half moon, downward dog, plank, camel, and bow are forget.

[teacher] I’m going on a journey and I will find

A triangle, warrior 1, half moon, downward dog, plank, camel, bow, and candlestick are all aligned. 

[ Vera] I’m going on a journey and I will see

A triangle, warrior, half moon, downward dog, plank, camel, bow, candlestick and a plow are done with glee. 

[ Joe] I’m going on a journey and I’m bringing the best

Triangle, warrior, half moon, downward dog, plank, camel, bow, candlestick, plow and finally a well deserved rest. 

Book Review: tree of light

"tree of light" is a sweet story of a seedling leaving it's mother to become its own tree. Through struggles she learns to look within and shine her light, preparing her to send her own children into the world.

"Remember to shine your light"
This advice is given to all who read this book. Not only is advice given, but this book is a guide on how to achieve shining that light in different circumstances.

In order to grow, Aaa'Lee, the tree, encounters struggles. to conquer each struggle Aaa'Lee looks within, and listens to what she knows to be true. Then after each struggle her light is able to shine brighter, and she can grow larger.

There are wonderful meditative hints around the book, such as "rest" "take long slow deep breathes" and "she relaxed and became very flexible". The wording and imagery creates a very peaceful book.

This is a great story utilizing a piece of nature we are familiar with to teach a topic that is new to so many children.

Children guiding the show

                                             
As I focus my energy more on my children and on writing I can see that is where I want this blog to go. I want to bring you.

I am excited to bring this content to my blog, I am working with some fantastic people at this time, and it is a wonderful time to grow. My children are my biggest inspiration. I feel it is only fitting that this blog serves the children of the world, and how we can better teach and serve them.

   I want to:

1. Bring you poems that I create for children
2. Create children's yoga sequences that can be used in classes
3. Have pictures and instructions for children to get in and out of poses
4. Review new and upcoming Picture Books to the market
5. Review studies that regard children's yoga studies.    

I get it- dedicated to George Floyd

This will be controversial for some. But I have to take a stand. 

I stand with the protesters. They are not the looters or the rioters, I stand with the protester and their cause. If you want to talk to me about why please call/ message/ email me. I would love to talk to you about this. 

But in thinking about what can I do for this cause... I realized I can write. 

After all this time I finally get it

I’m sorry it took so long to see

I thought I was helping 

I thought I was a friend

I thought I was on the right

But I found I was wrong. 

I’ll do what I can 

I’ll listen to your cries

I’ll help where I’m able

I’ll follow your lead. 

I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve have

I’ll be here now to be your ally at last. 

I get it

Inspiration

As I learn more about becoming a writer, and trying to get my work published I am learning about the do's and don'ts of blogging. There is so much for me to learn, and I am eager to just let everything come out for everyone to see. 

I am working on a few new poems, and it is amazing where the inspiration comes from. I honestly have been inspired by my Grandmother Barbara a lot. She always has been a writer, and while I never fully appreciated it growing up I can appreciate it now. Honestly she should work for ESPN. She would be one of their best writers. 

Today's poem took from a game that we used to play on car rides home. "We are going on a trip" now as I let that poem sit and simmer with me. As I continue to work out who I am as a writer I will keep you informed. But here's a stanza from the new poem. 

"Come on children it's time to go

On a journey for us to grow

All circled up together

Ready to act and mimic each other. "

Edits- Little Yogi

It is always interesting to see how my poems progress over time. You usually see my very first edition of my poems before I start really working on them. Sometimes they sit for a day, and other they sit for months. This one, that I wrote back in September of 2019 titled "Little Yogi" has been one I have been holding off to do. Mostly because I do not feel qualified to edit this piece.

Here is the original, and here is the newest edits. This will go through many more months of edits before I send it to other authors for their critiques and finally someone to publish it. But I just really wanted to share it with you.

A mountain is never changing ever strong and tall

I stand and imagine myself growing taller than my wall

Then I move to be a triangle, one that I create

Naturally born from mother earth upon this I meditate

I jump to be all the Warriors one, two and three. 

I am able to conquer all hard things that come to me. 

As a playful dog I come to lift my hips up high

Relax my head and awaken my soul once again to try...

I become a downward tree by coming up to a handstand. 

Now I feel invincible upon all the land.  

Next balance like a boat on the water, legs in the air

Don’t overturn my little boat keep afloat stay up there.

Sit up straight, legs stretched out my toes to see

Take big breaths in and out free to breathe free to be. 

I bend my knees and bind my feet the outsides touch the ground

As a butterfly lives its life without making a sound.

Upside down again I go, this time a candle I become

Trying to calm the flickering flame my legs won’t succumb

Lastly I lie down thinking upon every single pose

Remembering as I breathe softly through my nose. 

Now I step off my mat different than before 

my practice changed me from when I touched this floor

I hope you enjoy my poetry and if you know of places I can send submissions let me know, I would love a leg up in the publishing world.

My Brandon is AMAZING

As we head into Summer we are preparing for one of our major house projects. I realized over the past 5 years Brandon has done so much for the backyard that I have not shared. Mostly out of his humility. But forget that today, this is his "My Hubs is AMAZING" post .

So I have before and after pictures of the different projects we conquered. Yes I used that word specifically because it has a 'q' in it. We were playing the ABC game on the way home and were stuck on 'q' for 20 min. Until I cheated and let us move on.

1st up, pool and rocks.

I was pregnant with Michael, and I hated that pool. It was broken, I saw my dogs jumping in it, destroying what was left of it, or what we fixed and drowning because they couldn't get out. This is a pain of a project.

First we had to get rid of the rocks. There are layers upon layers of rocks here. My mom, sister and her whole family came over for maybe the entire summer to pick up rocks? If it wasn't the entire summer it felt like it. We picked up stones and moved them, then happily all the rocks were transported to my Grandma's house who needed some landscaping. Her yard looks amazing.

Next, get rid of the pool. This is no ordinary above ground pool. They dug into the ground a good 5 feet, I never got a picture of the original hole, but all that dirt, plus more filled that hole. This took us months to do. Literally we decided to be smart and started in the fall. There are benefits of having a civil engineer for a husband. He calculated how much dirt we needed and how it would be compacted. This is what he does at work. So we ordered it, they delivered and we were set to go. Now as you can see that whole is HUGE, it also was like 4 feet deep. It was massive.

Now this is where my Husband is Amazing statement comes in. He wants to do all the work himself. Yes I help, yes we bought a great wheelbarrow. Now my sister and her family was all at school and work, so after work and on weekends he slowly filled up this hole, then to compact it he sprayed water on it. Layer by layer it went down. I admit I was not the most patient wife at this point, but his persistence is astonishing, and what he can accomplish is mind blowing, as you'll see in the next two phases.










OK so now, we have a flat ground.



Now what to do with it. OK I used my super focus and decided we needed a play structure. Not only any play structure but a large one, because this is a large area. So I chose a good priced, used, way out of town play set that we needed to take apart. Now Brandon did have help planned for this adventure, but that help got hurt that morning and we couldn't find extra. Luckily the owners of the play set were oh so nice and helped Brandon take it apart, but I could tell he could use some extra help. Happily there are people always ready to help at any time. I called up the Bishop of the area, we went to lunch, and got hold of the missionaries for the area. They agreed to come out and help take the set to the car. Mind you I couldn't help as not only our help got injured, but also my babysitter had something come up that day too! So I was trying to entertain the kids for hours in a stranger's home, who happened to home school and shared so many tips with me as I was getting ready to start Daniel the next year in KT.

The play set sat for 6 months - 1 year on the side of our house. Probably because Brandon hated the sight of the thing, and knew what a pain it would be to put it up. But as it was easier for him to  put it up by himself using physics and engineering than waiting for friends to come over, he used my assistance and put this beast back together. Over a few weeks.


So the play set is done right? No. While you see happy grass and dirt what is hiding are burrs. Tiny little pokey balls that stab your feet where ever you walk. We had to hoe all the ground- Mom did that for us, then literally BURN every pile of weed that existed. Because if we did not burn it the burrs would open back up and spread again. Once we did that we put down a weed barrier and finished it off with putting about 2500 lbs of rubber wood chips down under the play set. Brandon carried each bag of 40 lbs to the back yard, and I got to lay them all around. If you notice in the picture there are two things missing... the palm trees. Ya.

The palm trees. These were annoying, had prickly palms and dropped a ton of fruit. Brandon pulled the first one out without too much trouble. It only took him a few weeks to get it out. But one closest to the house? We got that our just recently. Not only did it cost a shovel, broken pipes, but we couldn't do the 'clever' thing and hook a car up to it because of our back yard. So what did Brandon do? If you guesses Physics and engineering. You are correct. He got ready by digging and hacking (which was no small feat- and where I helped a lot), then he took tow straps and strapped up to the tree. I wish I got a video of this. It was amazing to watch. He literally tore a palm tree out of the ground, Root ball and all. I dont know many men who have tried and succeeded with that.

So here is one section, a very large section of our backyard, something we started 5 years ago and just finished this past month. It has been a great labor of love and a pain in the behind. But my Husband is Amazing. And I am sure that when you look back over the last 5 years you will see that your husband is amazing too.

Asking Brandon he said getting the play set was by far the hardest project, because of how hot it was (I think it was over 100F the day we picked it up and it took hours).

  The rest was about the same in difficulty.

Prom 2004 with Principal

One leap forward and two leaps back

My new lithograph by Picasso- to me it depicts joy of sharing and helping others. 

This last week to two weeks have been rough. I was flying high and beyond fantastic, feeling I could take on the world and everything in it.

• Home school, check. 
• Garden, check. 
• Bike rides with kids, check
• Make dinner for family, check
• Keep house clean, check
• Do projects around the house, check
• Be present with my kids, check check check
• Focus on husband's needs now the attention is off me, check. 

Everything I have been dreaming I could be as a mom I was able to be. Life was fantastic.

But then one day, it was hard to wake up. I had to force myself to make my bed. At 9 I had to remind myself to get the kids started on chores- poop scoop and water the garden, then school work. While I made them breakfast (a smoothie- nothing fancy 99% of the time). 

Then I had to sit with them, it was hard to continue to be around them. They didn't fight, they were being good, I just got bored easily. Michael was either playing beyblades or watching TV. Getting out to drive for lunch I was very anxious to do. We even left a little early- which means we ate a little early, and I gave them time to play outside before nap time. Not out front, just out back. Give me some more breathing time. Then I put them all down for a nap, yes even Daniel, my 8 year old. During that time I would sleep, be on the computer or work on one of my many projects or house chores. Chores still were a struggle to do, but I could do them. 

The day continued on like this, everything felt like a struggle whereas the previous week the days were a joy. Since having children I have never had a day feel like a joy. I have been excited for an event, or for a present, but not just to wake up and live an everyday day. That is the closest to feeling that way. 

That week ended and I was hopeful for a better week this week. But no, my OCD really kicked in and I felt like I did a year ago. I even found out new compulsions I had, and why I have a hard time playing video games like Animal Crossing- it drives my OCD up the wall, I can watch my husband play but not my kids, and I cannot. haha. 

The last few days I have been receiving help from family, friends, and therapists. I am very lucky I have such an amazing support group. Not many people do. I can utilize this time to be creative and write poetry and children stories. I can find ways to be productive in my life and not just a shell of a person, while I wait for that happy time to come back into my life. 

My OCD is very much ingrained into who I am. I do not know how to separate it from me. Do I in my head because of OCD or because some people count repetitive things? To me I thought everyone counted their steps when they ran... now being in Marching Band I don't think helped that at all, but I do what I can to work with who I am and become my best self possible. 

Emma is 6!

My Kindergartner is learning how to rhyme and read. Head shoulders knees and toes, Wheels on the bus, ABC songs are all common in my house. She likes to try to find rhyming words independent of songs. This poem is for her.



Mommy do you want to play a game?
I’ll say a word
Then tell me a word that sounds the same

House
-Mouse

Tall
-Ball

Pool
- tool

Dog
-frog

Mice
-RATS!

Mommy that is not a rhyme,
it must be right all the time.
Try again- Begin

House
-blouse

Tall
-Wall

Pool
-rule

dog
-log

Mice
-Rice

Cats
-rats

Yeah you did it!
I knew you’d never quit.
I’m so proud of you
I really love all you do.

Miracles

These past two months for me have been miracles, and I do not say that lightly. I have struggled so much with my mental health over the past 7 years. Then as if something just clicked, I don't know if it was my new therapist, my hormones decided to start working again, or what but my body started reacting positively to the medication that I have been taking for the last 3 years.

This is where I was in March, I was not ready to post this to everyone. But I find it amazing the difference 2 months has made. 

"As I work on what my therapist wants me to do, and I work on what I want to do. This week has been a hard week for me, emotionally. I have been able to keep up what my therapist has set up as homework. But I have been struggling with my daily Lent goal of giving up excess sleeping. 
When I feel like this I start to run in circles, trying to find a place where I can find some movement. Where I feel like I can say I am progressing. I start running through the same old tracks. 
Education- Job- House-
dog-
kids-
I go through familiar websites, familiar blogs, sometimes I find a new angle to something and I am able to try to maybe move an inch or two in a new direction, which then turns all my attention to that one track. But I am still stuck in the middle of the road, with paths that all leading back to the beginning. Until I figure out how to get lifted out of here. 

So this poem is me, me when I am frustrated, me looking for the end of my trials. 

I'm Stuck

Stuck in a rut with nowhere to go Stuck in a hole that drives me below Stuck, stuck, stuck I can’t get out
All I want is to say 1...2…3… and 4 All I want is to the chance to do a little bit more For my body to have the chance to change and win To grow to move and not suffocate within
I feel my breath choke me inside I feel my stomach squeeze me tight I see a glimmer and I run for the light Tripping and falling till I find the end in sight
The end is a hole at the top of a mine shaft With rocks so huge I leap over and try to handcraft And engineer a way up till my body is tired and sinks I cry and cry for all I want is this trial to end in a blink.
The light dims and I look up from my spot I see a hand and a rope straight and taught I grab hold of the rope and slowly start to climb Past the boulders, past where I had fallen, up out of the mine
I am out of the hole, I can finally breathe,I collapse on the floor and say “who made me free”I want to turn and thank my friend for the rope but instead of one friend I see a legion who always held hope
Hope I would come out,Hope I would be free Hope I would make it Hope I would get to be me."

All of a sudden I woke up out of a fog. I wanted to get out of bed before 10 or 11.  I set a goal to be out of bed around 9, there were days I was happy to be out of bed at 5:30 (then my kids woke up with me so I stopped that). I wake up refreshed, ready for a new day.

I am excited to teach my children at home. I can handle this idea of crisis teaching, and my children are thriving. I know they are thriving because I am thriving.

This is nothing less than a miracle. Now this does not mean I do not have my downs.

With hormones coming back into my life I get the normal cycle which includes a depression cycle, but unlike before this one goes away.

Then the past few days my OCD has been off the charts. But even during that time I have been able to make small gains, make my bed, go to the store, rotate laundry, start the dishwasher. Things that before were impossible for me I can now do with a simple reminder.

I know this is not an easy time for many people, but for me it has been a blessing. I just hope and pray that everyone gets their blessing and miracle when they need it most too.

Revisiting old work

During this time I am doing so many things. I have been so blessed that my mental health has been getting better and better. I have been working with the kids, and frankly forgot I had a blog I needed to maintain! Sorry!

But I received a comment today about one of my poems and it inspired me to take a look at that poem again. "Out for a Walk". I want to have a chance to review that poem and see where it can go. My life has been transforming, and I would love to see my poems transform along with me.

LENT : Fasting and Consecration

Lent is here. No I am not catholic, but my in-laws are. During my mission I started participating in Lent, as a way to prepare for the Easter season. My mission president was so kind and helped explain the difference between fasting, and consecrating. It is a lesson that to this day I will never forget, and I am starting to see the Catholics realize themselves.

Law of the Fast
- For those who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we do this once a month. Or we do it on special occasions when we are pleading our case to Heavenly Father, it is a time of prayer and meditation. It is a great and a holy time. To me, and I can be wrong, and if I am please go ahead and inform me, fasting gives us a chance to repent. It is not repenting, but as we place physical animals on the alter to be sacrificed in our stead, we put tangible things; food, water, or chocolate, and alcohol or Catholics, aside for a certain time.This year for Lent Catholics are being encouraged to give something up each day for 40 days, and donate it at the end of Lent to a charity or homeless shelter. When we fast we abstain from those things. We have a chance to be reminded of what the purpose of our fasting through physical reminders; stomach pains, thirst, cravings. But we continue on to as a show of faith to God that He is more important than physical needs. Fasting builds great faith.

But, there is a higher law, just as the Law of Moses has a higher law, and the Priesthood of Aaron has a higher Priesthood, so does this law of fasting, it is called the law of consecration.

The law of consecration 
- In short is the giving of all of your time, talents, and energy to the building of the kingdom of God. This is Christ asking us to put not an animal upon the alter, but our hearts upon the alter to change who we are and come unto him. Time, talents, and energy, so what does that look like on a daily basis. The Pope said, " We live in an atmosphere polluted by too much verbal violence, too many offensive and harmful words, which are amplified by the internet... today, people insult each other as if they were saying good day". He is not asking you to sacrifice something, you will not feel physical pains by not insulting someone, instead you will have the opportunity to come closer to God and feel more of his love in your life and for your brothers and sisters. When we consecrate ourselves, our time, our energy we change from hearts that are stony to  to hearts made from flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)

So what am I doing this Lent? Well my therapist kinda laid it out for me. It's time to bring Ashley back. I have let depression have it's day, so I am sacrificing all my extra sleep (sometimes I get like 12 hours) to go towards walking and yoga and my version of a juice cleanse, and I am refocusing my desire to understand God's will for me through scriptures, prayer, and meditation. I don't mean for this to take 2 hours, but 30 min. Start small. Somewhere I can keep it up, God loves you, and what you can offer is what he wants you to do.


So, the yoga I am going to do?
-I'm starting at the beginning because of how badly I hurt my back a few months ago. I am at the beginning, always a beginner. So you can follow along, with me.

What cleanse? Will it be ultra hard?
- No. Here is my rules

- no sugar, alcohol sugars and natural sugars are OK (don't ask why I honestly don't know)
- eat what you would like at dinner time, but small amounts
- have all the DIET drink you would like
- drink 1 cleansing Tea per day
-

Progress

So having my book turned down hit me really hard. Mentally I was really vulnerable, and physically I pushed myself beyond my limits. My backbending? Ya- totally hurt my back. I am still not fully recovered from it that is what 2 months later? It is doing much better now.

After LA I turned my sight to finding a job. I still write some poems, but not as frequently, and I looked to new areas for fulfillment. I have applied for all of the jobs I am qualified for and daily look for more. I daily look at the place I volunteer at, B-GLAD, to see if they are finally hiring in Bakersfield again. I think I have applied to 2 or 3 of their positions.

As weeks rolled by it started to get closer to ASL Junction's Christmas Event. If anyone knows Lisa Hampton you know this is her favorite event of the year. We baked 300 individual gingerbread men, cut strings for them, and had all little accessories to put on them, ready at the Library to go along with their Gingerbread house event. To make it even better we had a Deaf Santa. A member of our community volunteered to be Santa for the day, and I almost cried when the deaf kids could have a small chat with Santa about what they wanted for Christmas, and it warmed my heart as Santa taught the hearing kids how to sign their toy of choice.

The event was a success we had somewhere between 300-500 people come and make gingerbread men, and even heard a grateful word or two. Our gifts... they may need some work. But its a work in progress, maybe next year they get candy canes.

After that event was over I had to hurry to finish all the planning for B-GLAD's Christmas event. I think I got over worked on that one, and my kids started coughing that morning, so we couldn't actually go and enjoy the party. But it was nice to see Roy a little less stressed as it got closer to the party. There were a lot of happy people who came to the event, and they all loved their Santa gifts- we get gifts from toys-for-tots for them.

I can't even get into Christmas and the craziness that caused, our week vacation in Utah with almost the whole family and snow, and then everyone ending up with bronchitis and ear infections. It's winter break holiday typical stuff. The kids missed almost the entire first week of school back.

During December I had a few interviews. One I was very excited about. The Museum of Art (MoA) was looking for a new Marketing person. I roughly fit what they were looking for and put in my application. I got a email asking for an interview the next day. I came, we had a nice chat and then I didn't hear from them till like last week. Christmas break did not help with communication. I did not  get the job, but during the interview she asked what is something I would like to see happen at MoA, I told her I would like to see a Deaf Art Exhibit.

I had a feeling I was not going to get the job, so I started emailing people about this idea. I found some artists I would like to include in this art exhibit, and started to try to find where  I could hold it at. I was connected with the Arts Council of Kern, and they proved very useful, and actually offered their space for the exhibit in 2021! I was thinking 2022, so this was huge!

Then the other day I had decided to try my hand at finding an illustrator for my art work myself. I went to my kids yoga teacher page and asked if anyone was an illustrator and would be interested in illustrating my book. I immediately got a reply. We started checking out each other, doing some research, I sent her my story, I saw some of her artwork, and we just clicked. This book is going to happen.

So tonight what did I do? After months of procrastinating,  and fear of getting on my mat. I stepped on my mat and did what I have known all along what will fix my back, and move me onto where I want to be- the phase of me.

Step Back

So today I finally heard from the publisher. They said no to my Sibling's Yoga story. I have to admit I am sad, and youthfully thought they would simply love my poem and maybe need me to change a few things to make it just for them. But I was a little too starry eyed.

So now with my first rejection I will buck up and carry on, work on my text- make it better and start to learn how to submit queries to editors. That is where I will most likely find my success. This poem may never see publishing, but I know I can continue on to unearth the perfect story for children.

                                                                                                                                

At least I have these cute kids to keep me going and giving me new ideas.   

School days

I'm trying to expand the perspective of my poems. This one is a personal poem to my 6th grade year. I had just moved to a new town, and was unsure how to make new friends, the friends I thought I had found decided they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. This left me quite confused and unsure of what to do at school.

This is my poem to that little girl who is left to defend herself from the world, and how with a challenge your world can change in amazing ways.

Starting her day in an upbeat way

Sarah took her nose to the floor

I will never be right, but that's alright

I will learn to do more. 

Sarah went to school where kids were cruel

They mocked her hair and dress

That's alright I’ll be bright

And find those I can bless. 

In her class Todd gave her some sass

And wondered how she could get along

She was contrite and will be alright

And sang a joyful song.

Out by her own at recess she roams

To find a friendly hand

It was not right alone she would fight

The evil horned band. 

Come what may, and I will say

Hello to this discouraging horde. 

Would it be right to extend a slight

Gift of kindness towards?

Stopped in their tracks they taken aback

What could this offer mean

Could they just might be kind to her plight

 And abort their planned scene?

Seeing their pause there she was

Surrounded by dozens more now

They looked to their left quite bereft

And she said this I will allow

I want you to be my friend where we can mend

Like threads joined together

Let my bite become your light

As we join as birds of a feather. 

All who saw were now in awe

At her boldness to this crowd

The leader stood slight not just sure quite

How to answer this out loud. 

Sucking some air he did fare

To answer her sentence to them

“You are despite our tries to  blight

The brightest and rarest gem. 

Out for a walk

Joe went for a walk to go to the tip top,

when he saw a lizard standing on a rock. 

The lizard just lay basking in the sun 

slowed Joe down, no longer in a run. 

As he passed the trees, he saw their limbs move

dancing in the breeze where an eagle was too. 

The eagle sat and looked clear far ahead

Joe stopped and turned to see the meadows spread. 

Joe continued on his walk and found a dog asleep

As Joe walked by the dog leaped to its feet.

Stretching down the dog bowed to the earth

Then extending up like  a new rebirth. 

Amazed he continued walking to the top

actively looking for something more

then on a flower, a butterfly lay

drinking some nectar in the sun's rays

Now carefully moving not to miss a thing

Crouching down he saw a slithery snake

moving ever so slowly so not to shake

he sat there until his back did ache. 

Up near the top there was a mountain lake

Full of fresh and clear water

As he looked down he saw a sunfish

Moving its tail in a little swish-swish

Laying down on the ground he looked at the sky
he let his mind try to find whats common
in the nature where he saw
wonder and beauty that left him in awe.